Been a while since I've done much, hasn't it? After missing my monthly deviation in December, I seemed to also have missed my monthly journal entry in January. Not that I didn't have time for it, I just had nothing to write I guess.
Well, I've been lacking the drive and motivation to do anything that I can post up here lately. Lets not beat around the bush, I never thought I'd say it, but I'm tired of DOA, I'm not obsessed with Hitomi anymore (I've found a real person to fall in love with, but frankly that's not exactly working out a dream right now anyway), I'm not particularly interested in buying DOAX2, and frankly it feels good to escape from the seedy world of ecchi and hentai after all these years. Occasionally it drags me back in just a little bit, but generally, none of it appeals to me anymore really. I've finally moved on.
I feel like I'm starting to change into an entirely different person in my real life, with a broader outlook on things, more self confidence and a more positive attitude. It's happening slowly, but it's definately starting to take effect, and I fully believe that by the end of my university course, I really will be a whole new me. Which is good, because I couldn't be the old me much longer before I would start to become completely out of touch with the real world.
But, to be perfectly honest with you, I'm sick of dA too. It doesn't bloody WORK anymore for starters, especially not in Firefox, but even in IE I get problems submitting comments and descriptions, my last submission didn't even appear in my gallery until many hours later, messages refuse to be deleted most of the time, menu systems don't work, and it's STILL stupidly slow in the evenings, as it has been for years now. And I know I sound ungrateful when I say this, but I'm tired of people I don't know writing short, useless comments about my much older works, or even worse, comments that just simply make no sense whatsoever. I've even had multiple non-sensical comments made by the same person, on the same artwork, and I'm getting sick of it. PLEASE only comment if you have something worthwhile to say. "This is cool" and "OMG I love Hitomi!" is not worthwhile, and I don't need to read it. Of course, the idiots among you (as well meaning as you may be, admittedly), are unlikely to read this before doing so.
I sound like I'm extremely pissed off in general, but I'm not really. Not in any major way anyway, as despite ups and downs in my love life, I'm still in a much happier social situation than I have been in since I left secondary school really. I love my course, I have great friends that I hope to become closer to as the months go on, and I'm more optimistic about my future than ever. The thing is, everything's starting to change and I'm looking to find new interests and re-introduce myself into society. I don't have much inspiration to draw anymore, and the photos are just an attempt to replace those drawings with some submittable material, but frankly, I just don't feel like doing anything like that anymore. I want to start thinking about grander projects. Websites, flash interfaces and interesting ideas, but even for those, I'm only occasionally struck by the inspiration to pursue them further. I'm still very much figuring things out at the moment, and it's not all clear in my head.
I know some of you are going to be upset by the feelings I've expressed in this unusually angsty post, as I have made some great friends here, and I'm sorry I've been slow to comment on your new deviations, if I even comment at all. I dunno how to fully explain how I feel.. it's just, it's all about change for me lately, and there's something about dA that makes me want to escape from it. The reasons stated above, probably. I'm not saying you'll never see me here again, but at the moment, I plan to be considerably less active than I've ever been. I'll try and keep up with comments if I can, but I can't guaruntee anything.
So.. I really don't know what else to say. Even though this isn't a goodbye forever, I want to thank my friends for always providing me with helpful views on my works and I'm sorry I don't have anything left in me for you right now.
So.. thanks. See ya.